Dear Old Men Wearing the Speedos,
I see you almost every time I go to the beach. Usually you are overweight with leathery tanned skin. Sometimes, you are thin, but definitely too old to be wearing a Speedo (although, I don't think there is a good age for ANYONE to be wearing one). Usually, you are sitting on the shoreline alone...and I think I may be able to explain your solo phenomena to you-It's THE SPEEDO!
Did you know that everyone who is around you is telling their friends to discretely look at your outfit (or lack of outfit)? It doesn't help that your choice of speedo color is usually neon. Really, NEON?!? Did you also know that everyone can still see you pick your wedgie? Hmmm...this probably also adds to your beach loneliness.
Just thought I'd give you something to think about as you lie on the beach, baking your skin like a potato!
Love,
All the people who wonder why old men wear speedos
