As a young girl I remember asking people the age old question, "how did you know you were supposed to marry ______" It seemed I always got the same answer. "Oh, I just knew!" Well, that answer does not really cut it for me. There are things you can "just know." You can "just know" that you are supposed to take the bus instead of drive to work. You can "just know" you should eat oatmeal instead of rice cakes for breakfast, but how can you "just know" that you are supposed to spend forever with someone? This is a decision that will affect the rest of your life! I don't think you really can just know. Therefore, I gathered a list of answers that people have shared with me in the past. It's definitely not all inclusive. That's why you should comment and add what is missing. Pleases remember, just because I'm looking for an all inclusive list, does not mean that I'm getting married anytime soon! I just want to know why people think that they can "just know" the answer to that timeless question! It's something I've wondered since I was 16.
1. Trust. Can you tell that person anything?
2. Forgiveness. Does that person hold onto things from the past? Have they forgiven everyone that has hurt them in the past.
3. Common Beliefs. Do you both hold these beliefs to the same degree of importance?
4. Have you fought? How did you resolve the disagreement.
5. Are you attracted to this person? Have you discussed expectations for the future. (ex: frequency ect....I think you all know what I'm talking about *blush*)
6. Do you feel like you have to change who you are when you are around them?
7. Do both sets of parents approve?
8. Have you discussed chores. (ex: is he going to help you with housework ect)
9. Money. Do you have the same type of spending habits? Who's going to pay bills ect.
10.Are you both seeking God's direction for your life?
11.Can you pray together?
Tell me what's on your mind readers...what am I missing?
2 comments:
Hi, Caron!
Your mom gave me the link to your blog - she is my husband's aunt (Jeremy Hayek). Anyways, I wanted to share two things. First, I didn't see anything on your list about discussing number of children that both parties want. That is a biggie. And second, I can't stress enough how important it is to share the same faith. My parents engrained into me while growing up to marry a believer. However, since Jeremy and I have been married (11 years now), I am so thankful that not only is he a believer, but we grew up with the same church background. I know that a lot of couples don't come from the same church background, but it is wonderful for us, because we have no fights about any issues of faith. Other than those two (I know one was already on your list), I think you have a pretty good list going! Good luck!
Sincerely,
Tricia
How does the person treat others? Because eventually, the extra-polite manners of the 1st date will change to the level (or lower) that he/she treats others.
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