Monday, March 10, 2008

She's Not Bitter

They tell her she's beautiful

that her eyes do not compare

yet inside she's miserable

b/c they aren't really there

She has so many goals ahead

yet so sick of the lines she's fed

was she the "best part of their day?"

then why do they just walk away?

She's just so tired of it all

the same game again and again

what is with these supposed "men?"

love-it's somewhere she just can't fall.

Is she another to accrue?

a name to put on a sick list?

so many men with this point of view

makes her want to show them her fist.

Taking a little piece of heart

it is really no place to start

If they were really truly men

they wouldn't feed lines again and again

So, don't tell her she's beautiful

don't make her think she's wonderful

leave that for the one who cares

just for the one who will always be there.


so...this isn't a list...and it doesn't really apply to my life anymore...but I think it is important to remember what our single girlfriend go through A LOT!

What's On Your Mind? A List of Things I Question Daily.

1. Why are there so many random shoes on the side of the highway....do people just get sick of them and throw them out the window?? I don't get it...and this bothers me daily.

2. Again...why do men think it's cool to honk at women??

3. Why text when you can call??

4. Why do old men wear speedos to sit in the hot tub?? Or maybe I should ask...why do they wear them at all?

5. Why do people put spoilers on honda civics??

6. Why do people like saurkraut (however that's spelled)

7. Why are there food eating contests? We eat enough food...why do we need a contest to see who can eat more?

8. Why is it that the most beautiful, quality girls I know are single?

9. Why are there locks on stores that are open 24 hours?

10. Why am I seeing tapered leg pants back in stores??

11. So this is a two part question I think about daily...Why the heck won't men go to doctors?? If your knee cap is broken, your hip doesn't bend anymore...it's not going to heal on its own and your not going to feel better...Just go to the doctor...they were in school 15 years for a reason. Second part continued in next point

12. Why is it that someone will look up some "Ancient Chinese Healing Remedy" on the internet and then swear by it even though there is no scientific research done by the "john brown" that probably wrote it. AGAIN people...doctors went to school for 15 years for a reason.

13. Why is it that people share their entire life story within a few minutes of meeting me...I'm not complaining...it's rather interesting to know the gory details of other peoples lives...but I still think it's weird.

14. This is kind of a continuation of the old men in speedos in the hot tub question...WHY would anyone wear a thong leotard to work out in....or any form of a leotard for that matter...and why do people sit around naked in the locker room?? This question really alludes me and many of my clients since they all ask me about naked people in the locker room.

15. Why is it that a lot of people with Bachelors Degrees still have sucky jobs....

16. Why do men put on weight when their wives are pregnant and then magically lose it when their wife has the baby? It's called "sympathy weight" and the whole concept is quite weird to me...it happened to my brother-in-law who wouldn't gain weight if he ate lard for every meal...but my sister got pregnant and he magically gained 15 pounds.

17. Why did God create goodbyes? I really hate them..I hate them more than I hate saurkraut.

18. Why do people put bits of canned fruit in Jello and consider it a salad. Yuck...

19. Does Jared from Subway still eat Subway daily?? Or even at all?

You Know You've Been in School too Long When...

1. You consider biking everywhere so you don't have to pay for gas.

2. You have hippie length hair b/c you can't afford to cut it

3. You have to give up Diet Coke for REAL...or it's gonna break the bank

4. You're surprised when you have dollar bills in your pocket.

5. You work a million part time jobs

6. The incoming freshman look like children to you.

7. You wonder why the heck you're studying so much when people with 2 yr degrees are making more money than you are.

8. You know what a docosahexaenoic acid is....and a million other minute facts that will never affect your future career.

9. You keep accumulating friends on facebook that are 10 years younger than you....b/c they are freshmen and you have class with them. (that's a bit of an exaggeration for me)

10. You've gained the freshman 15 and lost it at least 2 times.

....I'll add more as I think of them.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Are You Ready For Forever? I Need an All-Inclusive List.

As a young girl I remember asking people the age old question, "how did you know you were supposed to marry ______" It seemed I always got the same answer. "Oh, I just knew!" Well, that answer does not really cut it for me. There are things you can "just know." You can "just know" that you are supposed to take the bus instead of drive to work. You can "just know" you should eat oatmeal instead of rice cakes for breakfast, but how can you "just know" that you are supposed to spend forever with someone? This is a decision that will affect the rest of your life! I don't think you really can just know. Therefore, I gathered a list of answers that people have shared with me in the past. It's definitely not all inclusive. That's why you should comment and add what is missing. Pleases remember, just because I'm looking for an all inclusive list, does not mean that I'm getting married anytime soon! I just want to know why people think that they can "just know" the answer to that timeless question! It's something I've wondered since I was 16.
1. Trust. Can you tell that person anything?
2. Forgiveness. Does that person hold onto things from the past? Have they forgiven everyone that has hurt them in the past.
3. Common Beliefs. Do you both hold these beliefs to the same degree of importance?
4. Have you fought? How did you resolve the disagreement.
5. Are you attracted to this person? Have you discussed expectations for the future. (ex: frequency ect....I think you all know what I'm talking about *blush*)
6. Do you feel like you have to change who you are when you are around them?
7. Do both sets of parents approve?
8. Have you discussed chores. (ex: is he going to help you with housework ect)
9. Money. Do you have the same type of spending habits? Who's going to pay bills ect.
10.Are you both seeking God's direction for your life?
11.Can you pray together?

Tell me what's on your mind readers...what am I missing?

A List of Ways to Let her Know You Care


1. Dance Lessons...I think most girls would love this
2. Call her on your breaks during the day...even if it is only for a couple of minutes
3. Give her your old printer when hers breaks
4. Watch a chick flick with her
5. Cook her favorite meal. If you really want her to feel special, e-mail her mom and ask what her favorites are.
6. Add her friends on facebook.
7. Put a note in her mailbox and then tell her about it in the morning. (I know, it's illegal...just let her know b/f the mailman comes!)
8. Surprise her with a trip to NYC
9. Ask if you can take her home so you can meet her friends and family
10. Help her study for her final that's really worrying her.
11. Buy those shoes she's been talking about (shoes are a way to every girls heart)
12. Babysit with her. (Only if the childs parent is okay with this of course!)
13. Run with her.
14. Surprise her by stocking her favorite drink in your fridge.
15. Hang out with her family.
16. Tell her she's beautiful...all of the time.
17. Surprises...they are always good
18. Take her on a picnic
19. Play her word games...even if you think they are girly (I made my boyfriend play Would-You-Rather until there were no scenarios left)
20. Do her taxes.
21. Change her oil.
22. Ask the guy pictured in the top left of the blog. He seems to know what he's doing.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

How to Start a Fight....

1. Consider every question to be a statement. Ex: Innocent party asks "Did you clean your car yet?" Suspicious person replies "No, why do you think I need to clean my car?" Reply "No, I just thought you were going to clean it today." Suspicious person "No, I cleaned it last week...why does it look dirty to you?" Innocent questioner "No! I just thought you were going to clean it today." Suspicious person-"Why would you ask me that unless you thought my car was dirty?"

2. Ask too may questions. Ex: "Do you think I'm being annoying?" Reply "No, I'm not annoyed with you." Interrogator "well, you seemed really annoyed...am I being too inquisitive?" Reply "No, I'm just not talkative right now." Interrogator-"Oh, well is it because I'm being weird?" Reply "No, I'm just thinking right now." Interrogator "Oh, well what are you thinking about?" Silence........"Are you sure you're not annoyed?" Reply "No, I'm fine." Interrogator-"Well, why are you so quiet?"

3.Use sarcasm online or over text message I don't think an example is necessary. I'm sure most are guilty of it.

4.Leave your dirty dishes in the sink without even rinsing them.

5.Ask your boyfriend if he thinks you look fat

6. Drink the last Diet Coke in the fridge.

7. Continually correct someones grammar.

8. Neglect replacing the toilet paper.

9. Set three alarms every morning and continually hit snooze for 45 minutes.

10. Ask your boyfriend if he is attracted to other women he sees....

11. Consistently show up late



I'll add more to this later

A Short and Easy List of Reasons not to Drink Diet Coke

Do you drink Diet Coke daily? Do you drink so much that people confront you about it? Have you ever hidden stashes of it in your car? Is it the first thing you reach for in the morning? Have you been wanting to quit drinking it for years, but haven't been able to kick the habit. If you answered yes to these questions, you may be addicted to Diet Coke. Below are five reasons you should pour that twelve pack your hiding down the drain...

1. It is linked to obesity (I know it's calorie free....but facts are facts)
2. It is linked to bad breath and acne (Prescriptions for Nutritional Healing by James F Balch and Phyllis A. Balch)
3. It causes dehydration
4. It is linked to osteoporosis
5. It wastes your money...I know it's only a dollar...but a dollar a day adds up!