Here's a list of funny things my friends and I have said and done throughout our lives...I have a habit of getting tongue tied...so funny things come out all of the time.
1. "I have a really big crack" (I was talking about the one in my windshield)
2. Once I had to give a speech in front of the class...I was supposed to say "Amidst the guns below" It came out "Amidst the buns aglow"
3. I was calling to my friend to sit beside me....I yelled "S***" here..."S***" here...at least 5 times without realizing it.
4. My friend told my girlfriend Jessica..."get your hands off my buns" He was referring to the baked ones...but it was still pretty funny."
5. My girlfriend wrote a story about a jockey named "jock" in 5th grade...Neither of us new that there was any other sort of jock....we came to learn from boys in our class "a jock was a very gross type of underwear" Poor sarah, I don't think she ever lived that one down. We were so clueless.
6. I was trying to use a different word for born when I was writing a paper....I used the word conceived so I wouldn't sound so repetitive....I quickly learned that those were two very different things. Good thing I had my sister proofread that paper.
7. My girlfriend and I decided to give each other nicknames in 11th grade. We were very, very, very naive. I decided that since my friend liked cats I would call her "pussy" We both thought it was a very good nickname.....We quickly learned that it wasn't as great as we thought.
8. My girlfriend was trying to put a pizza in the oven but the racks were all mixed up. My boyfriend, trying to be helpful, stated.."You've got a really tight rack"....Good thing my friends don't get offended easily since that was the first time he'd met them!
9. My brother-in-law who was from Germany took some advice from my sister Holly and told his future wife, Paige, that she was very "voluptuous" Holly told him that it meant "pretty" Ha ha....He was very red...
10. You should all tell your stories of "oops...did I just say that!" They make me laugh.
NEW IN JERSEY
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
26 Reasons I'm Not the Girl I Used To Be-A Reason for Each Year of My Life.
1. I used to be the girl that worked out 2 times a day.
2. I used to be jealous of Britney Spears.
3. I used to never lift weights.
4. I used to ignore inappropriate comments at work.
5. I used to think that all men were pigs
6. I used to think I wanted to be a chiropractor.
7. I used to hide behind my mom's skirts because I was so shy.
8. I used to drive a car that was two different colors
9. I used to think that it was wrong to drink any type of alcohol.
10.I used to think that baptists were right about all religion related topics
11.I used to eat jelly and cheese sandwiches.
12.I used to think that giving a shot would make me pass out.
13.I used to eat too much.
14.I used to think Coke products were disgusting.
15.I used to think I only wanted to travel for entertainment purposes.
16.I used to be much more stubborn than I am now.
17.I used to date jerks
18.I used to turn down all desserts.
19.I used to think that people who were 26 and not married were going to be old maids.
20.I used to think I wanted 4 children.
21.I used to put off all of my homework until the night before it was due.
22.I used to wear dresses all of the time
23.I used to think people who didn't graduate in 4 years were slow
24.I used to think MN was the worst state ever.
25.I used to hoard all of my money (I was very very young when I did that)
26.I used to not be able to sleep without my teddybear.
2. I used to be jealous of Britney Spears.
3. I used to never lift weights.
4. I used to ignore inappropriate comments at work.
5. I used to think that all men were pigs
6. I used to think I wanted to be a chiropractor.
7. I used to hide behind my mom's skirts because I was so shy.
8. I used to drive a car that was two different colors
9. I used to think that it was wrong to drink any type of alcohol.
10.I used to think that baptists were right about all religion related topics
11.I used to eat jelly and cheese sandwiches.
12.I used to think that giving a shot would make me pass out.
13.I used to eat too much.
14.I used to think Coke products were disgusting.
15.I used to think I only wanted to travel for entertainment purposes.
16.I used to be much more stubborn than I am now.
17.I used to date jerks
18.I used to turn down all desserts.
19.I used to think that people who were 26 and not married were going to be old maids.
20.I used to think I wanted 4 children.
21.I used to put off all of my homework until the night before it was due.
22.I used to wear dresses all of the time
23.I used to think people who didn't graduate in 4 years were slow
24.I used to think MN was the worst state ever.
25.I used to hoard all of my money (I was very very young when I did that)
26.I used to not be able to sleep without my teddybear.
10 Ways to Waste Time
1. Check out all of your friends profiles on facebook.
2. Then, check out all of your friends on myspace.
3. Take a few quizzes b/c you "need to know which Jane Austen character you are"
4. Check your e-mail every hour...just in case someone wrote you something interesting.
5. Decide the night before a test you need to do some spring cleaning.
6. Post random blogs...b/c "you need a break from studying!"
7. WATCH BASKETBALL....I swear, watching sports is the biggest waste of time EVER!
8. Read all of your friends blogs
9. Take a 15 minute nap....which inevitably turns into a 2 hour one.
10.Stay up late becuase you "don't feel like getting ready for bed."
2. Then, check out all of your friends on myspace.
3. Take a few quizzes b/c you "need to know which Jane Austen character you are"
4. Check your e-mail every hour...just in case someone wrote you something interesting.
5. Decide the night before a test you need to do some spring cleaning.
6. Post random blogs...b/c "you need a break from studying!"
7. WATCH BASKETBALL....I swear, watching sports is the biggest waste of time EVER!
8. Read all of your friends blogs
9. Take a 15 minute nap....which inevitably turns into a 2 hour one.
10.Stay up late becuase you "don't feel like getting ready for bed."
Life is BUSY
1. Students say they are busy becuase they have too much homework. Life will be less busy when they are "just working."
2. Working people are too busy because their jobs last all day and by the time they get home it's "practically time for bed"
3. Stay at home moms are "busy because their kids are so crazy and they are volunteering in so many different activities"
4. Retired people are "busy keeping up with extra-curricular activities and grandchildren"
5. Single people are busy because "they have so many chores around the house that married people can share"
6. Married people are busy because well "they are married"
7. Children are busy becuase "they have so much to learn at school and their parents give them sooo many chores"
8. Teens are busy because they have to socialize and get ready for college.
9. Dads are busy "trying to support the family"
10. My sister once told me that we all think we are "REALLY BUSY!" I agree, becuase I've always thought I was insanely busy in school. I've always thought life will get easier when I'm out of college...but it's really not the case. I guess I just have to make time for the people who are important to me....even if that means I dont' get an A on a test....grades, work, ect don't matter forever, but people ALWAYS do...
2. Working people are too busy because their jobs last all day and by the time they get home it's "practically time for bed"
3. Stay at home moms are "busy because their kids are so crazy and they are volunteering in so many different activities"
4. Retired people are "busy keeping up with extra-curricular activities and grandchildren"
5. Single people are busy because "they have so many chores around the house that married people can share"
6. Married people are busy because well "they are married"
7. Children are busy becuase "they have so much to learn at school and their parents give them sooo many chores"
8. Teens are busy because they have to socialize and get ready for college.
9. Dads are busy "trying to support the family"
10. My sister once told me that we all think we are "REALLY BUSY!" I agree, becuase I've always thought I was insanely busy in school. I've always thought life will get easier when I'm out of college...but it's really not the case. I guess I just have to make time for the people who are important to me....even if that means I dont' get an A on a test....grades, work, ect don't matter forever, but people ALWAYS do...
Monday, March 10, 2008
She's Not Bitter
They tell her she's beautiful
that her eyes do not compare
yet inside she's miserable
b/c they aren't really there
She has so many goals ahead
yet so sick of the lines she's fed
was she the "best part of their day?"
then why do they just walk away?
She's just so tired of it all
the same game again and again
what is with these supposed "men?"
love-it's somewhere she just can't fall.
Is she another to accrue?
a name to put on a sick list?
so many men with this point of view
makes her want to show them her fist.
Taking a little piece of heart
it is really no place to start
If they were really truly men
they wouldn't feed lines again and again
So, don't tell her she's beautiful
don't make her think she's wonderful
leave that for the one who cares
just for the one who will always be there.
so...this isn't a list...and it doesn't really apply to my life anymore...but I think it is important to remember what our single girlfriend go through A LOT!
that her eyes do not compare
yet inside she's miserable
b/c they aren't really there
She has so many goals ahead
yet so sick of the lines she's fed
was she the "best part of their day?"
then why do they just walk away?
She's just so tired of it all
the same game again and again
what is with these supposed "men?"
love-it's somewhere she just can't fall.
Is she another to accrue?
a name to put on a sick list?
so many men with this point of view
makes her want to show them her fist.
Taking a little piece of heart
it is really no place to start
If they were really truly men
they wouldn't feed lines again and again
So, don't tell her she's beautiful
don't make her think she's wonderful
leave that for the one who cares
just for the one who will always be there.
so...this isn't a list...and it doesn't really apply to my life anymore...but I think it is important to remember what our single girlfriend go through A LOT!
What's On Your Mind? A List of Things I Question Daily.
1. Why are there so many random shoes on the side of the highway....do people just get sick of them and throw them out the window?? I don't get it...and this bothers me daily.
2. Again...why do men think it's cool to honk at women??
3. Why text when you can call??
4. Why do old men wear speedos to sit in the hot tub?? Or maybe I should ask...why do they wear them at all?
5. Why do people put spoilers on honda civics??
6. Why do people like saurkraut (however that's spelled)
7. Why are there food eating contests? We eat enough food...why do we need a contest to see who can eat more?
8. Why is it that the most beautiful, quality girls I know are single?
9. Why are there locks on stores that are open 24 hours?
10. Why am I seeing tapered leg pants back in stores??
11. So this is a two part question I think about daily...Why the heck won't men go to doctors?? If your knee cap is broken, your hip doesn't bend anymore...it's not going to heal on its own and your not going to feel better...Just go to the doctor...they were in school 15 years for a reason. Second part continued in next point
12. Why is it that someone will look up some "Ancient Chinese Healing Remedy" on the internet and then swear by it even though there is no scientific research done by the "john brown" that probably wrote it. AGAIN people...doctors went to school for 15 years for a reason.
13. Why is it that people share their entire life story within a few minutes of meeting me...I'm not complaining...it's rather interesting to know the gory details of other peoples lives...but I still think it's weird.
14. This is kind of a continuation of the old men in speedos in the hot tub question...WHY would anyone wear a thong leotard to work out in....or any form of a leotard for that matter...and why do people sit around naked in the locker room?? This question really alludes me and many of my clients since they all ask me about naked people in the locker room.
15. Why is it that a lot of people with Bachelors Degrees still have sucky jobs....
16. Why do men put on weight when their wives are pregnant and then magically lose it when their wife has the baby? It's called "sympathy weight" and the whole concept is quite weird to me...it happened to my brother-in-law who wouldn't gain weight if he ate lard for every meal...but my sister got pregnant and he magically gained 15 pounds.
17. Why did God create goodbyes? I really hate them..I hate them more than I hate saurkraut.
18. Why do people put bits of canned fruit in Jello and consider it a salad. Yuck...
19. Does Jared from Subway still eat Subway daily?? Or even at all?
2. Again...why do men think it's cool to honk at women??
3. Why text when you can call??
4. Why do old men wear speedos to sit in the hot tub?? Or maybe I should ask...why do they wear them at all?
5. Why do people put spoilers on honda civics??
6. Why do people like saurkraut (however that's spelled)
7. Why are there food eating contests? We eat enough food...why do we need a contest to see who can eat more?
8. Why is it that the most beautiful, quality girls I know are single?
9. Why are there locks on stores that are open 24 hours?
10. Why am I seeing tapered leg pants back in stores??
11. So this is a two part question I think about daily...Why the heck won't men go to doctors?? If your knee cap is broken, your hip doesn't bend anymore...it's not going to heal on its own and your not going to feel better...Just go to the doctor...they were in school 15 years for a reason. Second part continued in next point
12. Why is it that someone will look up some "Ancient Chinese Healing Remedy" on the internet and then swear by it even though there is no scientific research done by the "john brown" that probably wrote it. AGAIN people...doctors went to school for 15 years for a reason.
13. Why is it that people share their entire life story within a few minutes of meeting me...I'm not complaining...it's rather interesting to know the gory details of other peoples lives...but I still think it's weird.
14. This is kind of a continuation of the old men in speedos in the hot tub question...WHY would anyone wear a thong leotard to work out in....or any form of a leotard for that matter...and why do people sit around naked in the locker room?? This question really alludes me and many of my clients since they all ask me about naked people in the locker room.
15. Why is it that a lot of people with Bachelors Degrees still have sucky jobs....
16. Why do men put on weight when their wives are pregnant and then magically lose it when their wife has the baby? It's called "sympathy weight" and the whole concept is quite weird to me...it happened to my brother-in-law who wouldn't gain weight if he ate lard for every meal...but my sister got pregnant and he magically gained 15 pounds.
17. Why did God create goodbyes? I really hate them..I hate them more than I hate saurkraut.
18. Why do people put bits of canned fruit in Jello and consider it a salad. Yuck...
19. Does Jared from Subway still eat Subway daily?? Or even at all?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)